Moving on
by mcgrey
Summary: He broke up with Rose. And now he is getting his Meredith back, he thought that he was happy with rose but all he can think about was Meredith. Rose understood Derek and that he’s still not over Meredith Grey. MerDer.
1. Almost Lovers

_disclaimer: these are all make believe. all the characters not mine. _

_AN: please be kind this is my first story._

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He broke up with Rose

He broke up with Rose. And now he is getting his Meredith back, he thought that he was happy with rose but all he can think about was Meredith. Rose understood Derek and that he's still not over Meredith Grey.

"_Rose, I hope you understand"_

"_I have guessed this will happen, you're still not over her."_

"_I thought I can move on with you but turns out I am. I am sorry."_

"_You are one hopeless romantic Dr. Shepherd. Good night."_

"_Good night Rose."_

"_Oh one more thing Dr. Shepherd your not a bad guy, just a bad decision maker."_

He thought that she was right. Everything that had happened between her and Meredith was not all because Meredith cannot trust rather she had lost the sense of trusting him. Because he made a lot of sucky decisions concerning him and Meredith. He chose Addison, she was trying to move on but he kept looking at her during the prom, he told her he cannot breath for her and finally pushing her for something she's not ready for.

He immediately thought of driving to her house and tell her that he was once again waiting for her, that anyone was never as good enough as her.

As Derek was driving he felt something wrong but he did not care he was getting his Meredith back

He knocked at her door and Izzie answered it and immediately told him

"_She's not here."_

"_What do you mean she's not here her jeep is right there. Izzie I have to talk to her."_

"_She left town and left you this." _Izzie handed me a letter that was addressed to me

"_Dr. Shepherd you better go before Christina finds out you're here and kick your ass."_

And with that he left.

* * *


	2. letter for Derek

_disclaimer: these are all make believe. all the characters not mine._

* * *

As he opened the letter Izzie gave him. The paper looked like Meredith had been crying as she wrote the letter.

_Dear Derek,_

_As you know by now I have left. I cannot take it anymore, seeing you with her. I understand you have to move on, so I too am moving on. I need a break from all this, the constant glaring and the whispering all over the hospital. I thought I was strong enough but apparently I am not. I'm even not brave enough to tell you that I love you, and guess what I love you so much it pains me to see you with anyone but me. We've had so many chances and we blew it all. Not me. Not you. Both of us. You told me to rely our relationship on faith and I lost all faith the moment I saw you with that nurse, because it made me realize that I have lost you completely you have that happily ever after you have longed for. I am happy for you, I really am. And I thought I could hide every inch of doubt in myself in this clinical trial. But working with you made it so difficult and after several deaths I've lost all faith. And move on. This is my good bye to you. Because seriously, I'm not doing this in front of you I'm too much of a coward. Goodbye. I love you and I always will. And finally I will miss you._

_Meredith_

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	3. Christina has a soft side

_disclaimer: these are all make believe. all the characters not mine._

* * *

"_Hey man! I thought you had a date with rose."_ Mark said.

"_We broke up." _

"_HA! I knew it. I told Grey this is not going to last."_

"_More like she did not last."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_She left."_

"_She left? We are the Dirty Mistresses we never give up. Especially Meredith she almost died man."_

"_She gave up because of me."_

"_This is not your fault. She's just hurt you know. Uh Oh Dr. Yang is heading our way better hide man." _

Mark left. And before you can say it Christina was there.

"_Hey Dr. McStupid, I do not know what you have done to my person this time but I am this close to kicking your ass."_

"_Dr. Yang where is she?"_

"_Heck I also so not know. But one thing I do know, she'd want to be on the other side of the country."_

"_Look Christina, I did not mean to hurt her, I just, I needed…"_

"_You needed someone." _

"_Well if you talk to her, please tell her that I broke up with Rose and that Meredith and me not together is a mistake. And I miss her."_

"_Why should I, so you can hurt her again? But I am not that cold-hearted, I'll tell her but there may not be much difference."_

But deep inside Derek hoped that there would be. He had to find her.

* * *

_AN: Please Review. And I have a surprise in the next chapter.._


	4. Meredith's whereabouts

_disclaimer: characters. not mine. drama. mine_

* * *

_Meredith's POV_

I am a broken person in need of repair I did not go away from Seattle, I couldn't. It will always be home to me. I admit that I need to seek help putting back the pieces that are seriously broken I really need to get away from Seattle Grace from all the gossipy nurses and away from Derek because they are no help. I must admit there are instances where I wanted to get on any plane out of here; but if I did I would miss the constant rain.

I found myself another therapist so that I would be able to get the help I need to repair my issues. I found myself a quaint apartment and I've decided to stop working for a couple of weeks.

I have received numerous calls from Izzie begging me to come back, maybe I will but I have to put the pieces to where they were. She told me that since I left Seattle Grace became boring. I need some time to think because right no nobody's getting left at the altar or pressuring me into something I am not ready for.

I need to think and rebuild myself. I will come back. I will. I will move on.

* * *

_AN: i know it is short, but the surprise is Meredith is still in Seattle. so you guys want her to go where else? tell me soon. and what do we do with Derek? i know it is a sucky and short chapter.._


	5. The help Meredith needs

_Disclaimer: Characters: not mine. Drama: mine._

* * *

"_So why did you leave Seattle Grace?" her new therapist said._

"_I needed time to think about what has happened to me, without anyone pressuring me. Because there you feel the pressure by people glancing at you all the time."_

"_So you did not leave because of him?"_

"_Partly."_

"_So you ran away?"_

"_I did not run away, well I kind of did, I ran away from the drama, and I needed to find myself. The me without Derek, without my dad, and without my mom."_

"_So do you think running away helped you?"_

"_Well I am here."_

"_So tell me about your so-called trust issues, before you found out about the wife, were you capable of trusting?"_

"_Kind of, because when I was five, my dad left me and from then on I tried not to get attached to anyone until I met Derek."_

"_What was so different from Derek that made you capable of trusting him?"_

"_He was first and foremost so persistent, and I guess when you are in love you wouldn't care"_

"_So did you fell betrayed when his wife showed up?"_

"_Not betrayed but I felt empty."_

"_Empty?"_

"_Yeah empty like one day you are very happy, the next day your happiness fades."_

"_Well since our first session is almost over I have one thing left to ask you: What do you want us to fix?"_

"_I want to be able to trust again and be able to forget and let go."_

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_AN: what you think? Good or bad? Gaah I know it sucks sorry, inspiration hasn't kicked in yet I have a new chapter up in a while. I am thinking how I will reconnect mer and der.  
_


	6. What could have beens

_Disclaimer: Characters. Not mine. Drama. Mine._

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Derek's POV

_I has been three days since she left and I am a wreck. I do not know if she is well and taken cared for. _

_I am not with her and that is not her fault, it is mine. I drove her away._

_She can trust other people, but not me. Because I gave her enough reasons not to._

_She trusts Christina who is her person._

_She trusts Izzie, George and even Alex. Because they have been there for her when I wasn't._

_She trusts the Chief, her next best thing to a dad. And ever since she left I have begged the chief to tell me where she was but he told me that he owed it to her to keep her whereabouts a secret, he also couldn't tell me if she is coming back._

_I keep on thinking about the could have beens_

_What could have been if Addison signed the divorce papers when she was still in New York._

_What could have been if I had chosen her in the first place._

_What could have been if I gave her a reason to trust me._

_What could have been if I have told her that I can breathe for her. Because when I told her if I do not know if could not breath for her was a lack of judgment. I will always want to breath for Meredith and only Meredith._

_I did not love Rose, She was not my breath for fresh air, Meredith is and always will be my breath for fresh air. Rose was just truthfully a rebound._

_If I could just turn back time, I would tell her that I pick her, I choose her and I love her. _

_She is the reason why I was to be happy after what happened with Addison and Mark._

_She will and will always be my breath for fresh air, the one._

_And here I am hoping that when she comes back, if she comes back, that would still be her mcdreamy._

* * *

_AN: Sorry bout the mopey Derek chapter, but I would like you guys to see how he feels. I know he is very emotional. But he lost Meredith. I am still thinking how they will reconnect._


	7. Word of the wise

_disclaimer: these are all make believe. all the characters not mine._

* * *

"_Hey Mer."_

"_Hey!"_

"_How are you?"_

"_Great I've had my first session with the new therapist._

"_How'd that go?"_

"_Talked about my issues, about my mom, my dad, and specially Derek."_

"_HUH! Speaking of Shepherd, I am doing this because Shepherd asked me to and I told him I would. He broke up with what's-her-name, the the that nurse that looks weird, and that he misses you and he loves you."_

_And with that she was stunned._

_And there was silence that followed for a couple of minutes _

"_Mer? You there?"_

"_I'm here"_

"_You okay?"_

"_Yeah I am great, I mean I love him and I miss him and all that. But I have to learn how to deal and be me again…_

…_Does he expect me that after hearing that I would come back and fall for him again? Don't get me wrong I fell in love with him. But falling in love with him is so problematic. It causes problems. But…_

…_we both have to work out our issues."_

"_Mer, I am going crazy here, where are you."_

"_Nearby."_

"_Well Mer, I know I am not the best person to give relationship advice but Mer, you have to come back here and sort things out with Shepherd. Because if you keep avoiding the issues with Shepherd then the therapy has no use."_

"_I don't know Christina."_

"_When will you come back and sort things out?"_

"_Soon."_

"_Good."_

_Then as if on queue to avoid more awkwardness, Christina was paged._

"_Ok I got to go, I got paged. See your soon?"_

"_Yep. Soon."_

Soon.

* * *

_AN: you love it? Hate it? Gimme your opinion. Haah. She'll be home soon don't worry._


	8. Won't be long

* * *

Christina told Izzie, Alex and George that she was convincing Meredith to come back.

"_I bet you Meredith will melt in his arms again when she comes back." _Alex said.

"_How about I bet you she won't." _Christina answered_._

"_Dude, your so on."_

"_Betting on my love life again huh guys?" _

"_Meredith??"_

"_Both of you sound so surprised especially you Christina."_

"_MER?!"_

"_Hey Iz."_

"_Wow! Your back? Are you back for good?" _Izzie said.

"_I would Iz. But under different circumstances. I would stay but I couldn't."_

"_Hey Barbie, leave her be. Oh yeah. Mer, we were sorta wondering where is the sparkle pager??"_

"_In my locker."_

_All three of them ran and get it except for George. Of course._

"_I'm glad your back Dr. Grey"_

"_I'm not back Dr. Bailey, just visiting. By the way, how's tuck?" _Meredith asked to avoid anymore awkwardness.

"_He's great, he is punching kids but great."_

"_Pun…" _George stopped her from asking Dr. Bailey.

"_So I guess I'll see you around Dr. Grey."_

"_Yeah, sure."_

"_So George, how are you"_

"_I'm the chief's intern now."_

"_Chief's intern?? Is that a real thing?"_

"_Yeah sure, Christina calls me the chief's bitch."_

"_Huh."_

And with that the three residents rushed back to the nurses station with Christina having the said pager in the lead.

"_I got it! Yeah! I got the sparkle pager!" _bragged in sing-song.

Derek got off the elevator and went to the nurse's station and dropped off a chart. He was almost going to reprimand the noisy residents, until he looked up and saw Meredith.

And he froze.

_Izzie looked at him and said. "Can I help you with something Dr. Shepherd?"_

"_No Dr. Stevens, thank you…_

… _it's nice to see your back Dr. Grey."_

Everyone was now looking at them both. Then all of the sudden Bailey comes back and reprimands everyone_. "Hey aren't you all here to save lives, well I can't see somebody moving and saving lives."_

And with that everyone left except for Meredith and Derek.

"_Meredith, could I talk to you in private?"_

_Don't be a coward Mer, your not a quitter either the reason you came back was because you were supposed to talk to Derek. _Meredith thought.

"_Yeah, sure."_

* * *

AN: sorry i haven't been updating. i dunno if you'd like me to continue this story.


	9. I can't trust

* * *

"_Why did you leave?"_

"_Didn't I tell you that in the letter?"_

"_Oh yeah. That."_

"_Actually I am back because I am trying the advice that someone gave me because it might just work."_

"_And what was the advice?"_

"_Talk to you."_

"_I missed you."_

"_I hear. I also heard that you broke up with Rose and that you loved me."_

"_Love, not loved. And I am guessing Christina told you."_

"_Yeah, she actually is the reason I am back."_

"_So she's the one who gave you the advice?" _Derek was actually thankful for Christina for once.

"_Meredith, I told you I'd wait but I didn't, but I did tell you that if someone is ready and I thought that Rose was that."_

"_If love were enough…_

…_if love were enough you didn't need anyone, you would have waited for me."_

"_But Mer, you weren't letting me know stuff about you. I didn't know if you are getting ready. And when you told me you were ready was after I kissed Rose…_

…_When we were still on S and M"_

"_Couldn't you see I was making an effort? I was opening up, I was telling you about me, my sister and Christina and my mom's ashes. Isn't it enough?"_

"_I know but somehow you could trust anybody but me. You could tell anybody but me."_

"_Seriously! Derek! You question why I cannot trust you? Because you let me down a couple of times. Come on Derek, if you were in my shoes would you be strong enough to handle all the dilemmas?"_

"_Do you know why I got mad when I found out you kiss with Rose, because it was quite clear that you weren't waiting for me…_

…_And you know what when I was with finn and you were still with Addison you got mad at me, we didn't have any sort of relationship. But when you kissed Rose you knew that I was getting ready so who gives you the right to tell me that I always find a reason not to trust you, it's because you always give me a reason not to trust."_

With that Meredith _tried _to go.

TBC.

* * *


	10. Make Sure or Else

When she opened the door, she saw Rose

_When she opened the door, she saw Rose._

'_Well Dr. Shepherd I guess your 3:00 appointment is here.' She said harshly._

'_Meredith don't. Rose I thought you understood perfectly that we broke up.'_

'_Yeah well if I am no longer allowed to get supplies from the supply closet to save lives sorry.' Rose said._

'_I'm sorry I did not realize. I just messed up so bad.'_

'_Then why are you here talking to me about it and not to her?'_

'_You are right. Thanks.'_

'_Anytime.' Rose mumbled as Derek left._

He looked for Meredith everywhere supply closets, on call rooms, galleries. Then he had realized he did not look for her at one place she knows best, with the thing that knows her best. Joe's with Jose.

And there she was. With Christina, Izzie and Alex. They were laughing.

'_Meredith.'_

'_Dr. Shepherd.' Christina Said. 'How can we be of service to you today.'_

'_Doctors do you think I could talk to Meredith for a second.'_

'_Yeah sure.' Christina said._

'_Are you thinking straight Christina?' Alex and Izzie said as they went to a different table._

'_Whatever it is they will talk about is their business not ours okay. And she's my person, and as her person I think that the only person that can help her get whole and healed is him okay?' _

'_Aww. I never imagined you actually had a soft side.' Izzie Said._

'_Yeah, yeah whatever. Alex give me my money, I won she did not melt for Mcdreamy right away.' _

He raised an eyebrow at her.

'_Oh you thought I forgot! Think again man. Hahhahah!'_

Meredith and Derek.

'_Mer, I know I messed up. I am so sorry. I still want to be that guy. Your night in shining armor, the guy you'd wake up in the morning to. The guy who would die 110 in your arms. I still want to be that guy that wants a lifetime not 48 uninterrupted hours.'_

'_You really don't get it do you? You cant get everything you want.'_

'_That's why I want to make it up to you Meredith please.'_

'_We get only one chances, and it took us so many. Don't you think its about time to really get it over with?'_

'_I'll get it over with if you tell me you don't love me.'_

'_I can't. Derek I love you, I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts if I don't love you and it hurts if I do.'_

'_Then Meredith give me another chance. This is it all or nothing.'_

'_But what if you mess it up again.'_

'_I won't, I would not let my self mess up again. I promise. I want a life time with you.'_

Meredith seems unsure.

'_I will follow my heart Derek by giving you another chance, but if you hurt me again, remember I have Christina to kill you and make it look like an accident.' She semi-giggled and semi-cried._

_AN: I know it's been a long time. Tell me if you still like this fic. Tell me you opinions on the story. I hope you guys read my fic again. Thanks._


	11. Epilogue

Previously.

_Then he had realized he did not look for her at one place she knows best, with the thing that knows her best. Joe's with Jose._

_And there she was. With Christina, Izzie and Alex. They were laughing._

'_Meredith.'_

'_Dr. Shepherd.' Christina Said. 'How can we be of service to you today.'_

'_Doctors do you think I could talk to Meredith for a second.'_

'_Yeah sure.' Christina said._

'_Are you thinking straight Christina?' Alex and Izzie said as they went to a different table._

'_Whatever it is they will talk about is their business not ours okay. And she's my person, and as her person I think that the only person that can help her get whole and healed is him okay?'_

'_Aww. I never imagined you actually had a soft side.' Izzie Said._

'_Yeah, yeah whatever. Alex give me my money, I won she did not melt for Mcdreamy right away.'_

_He raised an eyebrow at her._

'_Oh you thought I forgot! Think again man. Hahhahah!'_

_Meredith and Derek._

'_Mer, I know I messed up. I am so sorry. I still want to be that guy. Your night in shining armor, the guy you'd wake up in the morning to. The guy who would die 110 in your arms. I still want to be that guy that wants a lifetime not 48 uninterrupted hours.'_

'_You really don't get it do you? You cant get everything you want.'_

'_That's why I want to make it up to you Meredith please.'_

'_We get only one chances, and it took us so many. Don't you think its about time to really get it over with?'_

'_I'll get it over with if you tell me you don't love me.'_

'_I can't. Derek I love you, I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts if I don't love you and it hurts if I do.'_

'_Then Meredith give me another chance. This is it all or nothing.'_

'_But what if you mess it up again.'_

'_I won't, I would not let my self mess up again. I promise. I want a life time with you.'_

_Meredith seems unsure._

'_I will follow my heart Derek by giving you another chance, but if you hurt me again, remember I have Christina to kill you and make it look like an accident.' She semi-giggled and semi-cried._

He woke up in a on-call room, realizing it was just a dream.

He spent his whole day looking for Meredith, but he couldn't he looked for her at Joe's but she was not there, her friends on the other hand was there.

In his dream everything had gone perfectly, they were once again, 'Derek and Meredith'

But it was just a dream, in his ideal world.

He came across Christina. And he finally asks her

'_Dr. Yang have you seen Meredith?'_

'_I give you one more chance and you ruin it?'_

'_Look Christina, please believe me, I really want to talk to Meredith, I want to tell her that I love her, that I want to be with her.'_

Derek had not realized that Meredith was there, and was able to hear the whole thing.

'_Then go ahead and tell her that.'_

'_I looked everywhere and she's not here.'_

'_Mcdreamy, look using your eyes and not using your mouth.'_

And at that moment he realized that Meredith was right at the nurses station, realizing that she had heard the entire thing.

'_Mer, I know I messed up. I am so sorry. I still want to be that guy. Your night in shining armor, the guy you'd wake up in the morning to. The guy who would die 110 in your arms. I still want to be that guy that wants a lifetime not 48 uninterrupted hours'_

'_How would I know if what your saying is true?'_

'_I'll prove it to you.' _ And with that he kissed her, with the whole hospital looking at them. And hearing Christina mumbling ' you guys make me sick.'

AN: sorry, I realized if that had been the ending I would not know how to continue. So anyways this is the last chapter, sorry if its nonsense. I really don't know how I will continue this story under the same title, so don't worry, you wouldn't miss me because I am making a sequel. Haha. I hope you read that one.


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